Fear is meant to keep you safe.
It is fear that creates empty thoughts and makes us hold onto doubt and uncertainty.
We see how this fear holds us back in other areas of our life, and we become aware that we need to deal with it, overcome it, and move past it.
You face this fear because you know this is how life is created. It is a tool for growth when we get stuck, and it pushes us to keep going.
These principles do not change with parenting.
Parenting can be difficult, and like any obstacle you face in life, you know the fight was worth it once you reach the other side.
So how is fear showing up stopping you from becoming a better father?
Are you afraid that you have not prepared them for the difficulties of life?
Do you worry they will be weak and submit to a life of comfort?
Are you examining how you interact with your child to shape and mold them into the person they will become?
Are you showing them it takes courage to change?
Life is too short to waste.
If you acted differently, think about the impact it would have on your child’s life. If you want your children to grow, then you must grow. This requires you to examine your current parenting methods and make real changes.
Being uncertain about your identity as a father will have adverse effects on the methods you use to manage your child. A child only wants to be accepted and free from unfair restraints.
When you use ways to control instead of connecting, you find yourself yelling, threatening, and punishing to minimize your fear of incompetence. These methods only increase the pain for all parties involved.
You don’t move past these fears by pretending these things didn’t happen. You own your mistakes and understand what you did was wrong. This is a powerful lesson in resiliency that children need to experience from their fathers.
When this happens, it can be challenging, but you must teach your kids it is worth the time and energy. Let them know you will always be there for them, and they will never be alone.
We all get stuck. Keep going!
Imagine still being held back from fears that your parents imposed on you. Maybe you have worked past these fears, or perhaps these fears show up in your relationship with your children.
You are merely playing a role. One that has been forced on you from your childhood. Never do you question this role with critical questions.
What does terrible parenting look like?
What does healthy parenting look like?
Suppose you want your child to experience life as intended, with love, honesty, compassion, enjoyment, and fulfillment. In that case, you must be conscious of how what is holding you back.
If you stay trapped in fear, you begin to ask yourself questions centered around self-doubt.
Am I a good father?
What if I don’t have the answers?
What if I fail?
To be a great father, you need to push past your fears.
As you continually face these fears and get past the things that feel uncomfortable, you move forward and begin to make changes that redefine the nature of your home.
Understand this commitment to change is not always met with open arms. This is not when you give up but a time to embrace the difficulty.
You are in charge and have the power to create a new reality. Like anything worth fighting for, it will not happen overnight. You take small steps in the right direction and go confidently into the unknown.
You begin to go down the path of becoming a better father.
No longer is the mindset of being stuck accepted. You remove any thoughts of telling yourself, I can’t do this again, and I don’t want to deal with this shit.
Your growth as a father will have you taking responsibility for your behaviors.
Right now comes the time when you face those fears.
You harness the powers of fatherhood.
You must face this challenge, for there is great joy on the other side.
You teach your kids how to face their fears by allowing them to see you conquer yours.
Putting yourself in an uncomfortable situation ultimately brings you to becoming a stronger person. You don’t want to show your kids that you quickly move away from the challenges.
Fatherhood is a path that you are called upon to go down. Once you become aware, you gain control over your habits, and you open yourself up to your full potential.
You begin to define who you are.
Fatherhood is something you need to earn, and the reward is reflected by the relationships you create with your kids.
Being a dad is a tough job, and one that never gets the attention it deserves, but the world will notice more once you believe the same.