Do Not Destroy Your Child.

How you treat your child has the power to effectively and positively impact their lives.

With all the chaos in the world these days, how can we ensure that we are acting as the protector to our children and not the ones administering the damage?

We live in a time where fewer parents are hitting and spanking their kids, and though this is great, it is still unacceptable. As a man, I know I can do a much better job raising my children than using the threat of physical violence to modify behavior.

Good behavior is something all of us desire from our children; this will only become a reality if we display those behaviors in ourselves. We must resist the temptation to inflict harm against our children and continually find ways to improve as dads. 

Are the behaviors you display indicative of a good man?

  • A report of child abuse is made every 10 seconds in the U.S.
  • More than 4 children die each day from child abuse. 
  • Almost half the children who die from child abuse are under the age of one year old.

If we can once again be the protectors of children, then society will dramatically change. 

The most obvious and destructive patterns come from the abuse of our physical power against our children. It portrays a weak image of manliness when fathers think the best way to discipline their children is through violence? When your child misbehaves and causes you pain or discomfort, and you lash out with force, you fail to adhere to true masculine values. 

Understand that you cannot control the evils in the outside world but can obtain great bravery and power inside your home. Having power in your home is not the type that should be abused. Doing so in our house only diminishes your value in the home and further complicates the true male role in society.

The diminishing of masculine values starts in our home. 

“Only fools repeat the same things over and over, expecting to obtain different results.”

— George Bernard Shaw

If your child is misbehaving and you think giving them a spanking will correct the problem, it should only have to be done one time. If spankings have to be continually administered, then you are clearly delusional about the effectiveness. 

While you are hitting your child to teach them a lesson, have you ever thought about what they were going through? Think about the fear you instill when a father who is sworn to protect you turns against you and abuses that trust. Think about the mindset you create in your child’s developing mind and how they start to see your relationship.

I am weak and defenseless in your company. 

I will submit to threats of fear to be loved.

I am dependent and will allow manipulation to control me. 

Not only does hitting or spanking your child not work. It has unintended consequences that show up later in life. It shapes and molds your child’s ability to have healthy relationships in the future. If the message is I am stronger, so you must obey, then we open our children up to be coerced, manipulated, and taken advantage of later on in life.

How can a child grow and establish a genuinely intimate relationship if those who “loved” them were the ones continually exposing them to violence and aggression in childhood?

Spanking is more than just physical abuse. It consists of a threat based on fear to control behavior. The practice commonly consists of pulling down a child’s pants and physically smacking their buttocks. Why do parents and especially fathers not see how fucked up this really is?

Fathers are the sword and the shield.

Our mission is to protect and fight against the world’s evils for the safety of our children. Can we achieve this goal by administering a spanking? We are destroying our child’s understanding that they should have control over their bodies. No one shall ever be allowed to physically abuse them against their will.

Think about the hypocrisy of what it means to spank a child on their bare ass and how that can affect their understanding of sexuality. Let’s not pretend the buttocks has no sexual appeal in society. If a man were to grab a women’s ass, that would be considered sexual assault and a criminal act. 

Do you not see how destructive this really is for a child?

This can be how you condition a child to keep violations to themselves, and that is precisely what those who covertly abuse their power want. They want their victims to be quiet and believe their experience is an exception to what everyone in society knows as a predatory attack.

If another person touched or fondled our child, we would immediately end their life. The worst offenders in society are child sexual predators, and they should all be locked away in prison for life. We should not teach our children that it is normal or acceptable to have their bare ass hit as a form of discipline. 

  • Every nine minutes, child protective services substantiate or find evidence for a claim of child sexual abuse.
  • 1 in 3 girls and 1 in 7 boys will be sexually assaulted by the time they reach 18.
  • Over 65,000 children are sexually abused in the United States each year.

We must be clear of the standards we want our children to accept in their lives. To physically abuse our children is inherently evil, and spanking them is a severe offense of their human rights. 

We need to fix many things as a society, and how we treat our children should be the center of attention. We need to remove primitive and destructive tactics that destroy the very essence of childhood. 

Besides spanking being ineffective and teaching your child that their actions were unacceptable, they will start to believe they are a terrible person.

You are capable of giving your child access to a world of abundance and hope if you truly believe that is what they deserve. Are you ready to create a life worthy of your child’s admiration, or will you submit to your fears?

All parents’ goals should be to raise children who do not accept mediocrity in all areas of their lives. To help build confidence and motivation to creating a life of meaning and purpose. 

We start by removing punishment when our kids are misbehaving. If we are honest about the interactions with our children, then we can take responsibility for their behavior. We can acknowledge that their disobedience is not because they are bad but because we have failed to parent effectively. 

By changing our actions and language during stressful times, we allow ourselves to create connections instead of distance. If we display patience instead of frustration, this allows our child to trust us more. With this trust, we can positively influence them, and they will start listening. 

If we take accountability for the fatherhood role’s true nature, we will accept the leadership as a strong patriarch.

Will fathers rise to this challenge?

We will not abuse our power over our kids and never allow the evil of the world to infiltrate our homes. 

If you need help with creating more peace in your home, schedule a meeting with me.

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Anthony Migliorino

Peaceful Parenting Coach

Wondering if you can turn your parent-child relationships around, get kids’ mom on board and create the family dynamic you always wanted?

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