I remember a time in my life where I struggled with each decision and every path I chose to go down. I felt trapped and couldn’t escape the thoughts that my life should be more meaningful.
I complained often and was never satisfied even though I was successful and staying on my mission. I would come home from work and be exhausted. I had no patience or tolerance for those that depended on me, and it wore a huge hole in my heart.
Was I showing my children the type of man worth following?
It took some time to stop feeling helpless and eliminate all the ideas that I couldn’t fix my home. The truth became visible that for my family to be complete, I needed to improve myself.
The limits I put on myself would have undoubtedly been passed down to my children. If I didn’t truly believe I was a good man and living with high standards worth following, why would my children believe this?
Things drastically changed with the birth of my son.
I always had the desire to be a great dad when my girls were born, but now I needed to be an example to this baby boy of what it meant to be a good man.
I no longer looked at life as something to endure. I started to realize my life was something that I controlled. I stopped complaining, and I started finding ways to improve.
When a warrior goes out on his conquest and returns victorious, he will have many stories to share. Of course, to prove these stories accurate, he needs some proof of where he has been and what he has accomplished.
My journey as a father and the stories I tell are manifested and proven by my children’s happiness and love for life.
Is being a warrior the same as being a dad?
You’re damn straight it is!
Being a father is one of the most challenging and underrated jobs in the world.
How do I know this?
I’ve lived it for over twenty-three years. I’ve been tested by all the same problems and obstacles you may be going through now. I used to get angry at the simplest things and never examined why this irritated me so much.
I dive into this topic with Zac Small on The Family Alpha Podcast.
If you are not true to yourself, you create a weak foundation that cannot withstand any pressure and easily crumble. If your family is in chaos, it is because you are in chaos. There need to be standards we hold our children to, and those are standards we must live by, no excuses.
You cannot get your kid’s attention if your words and actions are not consistent. Do you tell your children you love them but then use physical force to get them to follow orders?
To have your children believe the words you speak, be truthful when you use them. Do not lie to yourself and your children by portraying love as aggression, hitting, and spanking. This will damage your child’s relationship and bring you into the mindset of being a victim.
You will focus all your energy on your child’s disobedience and fail to see your role in the interaction. These barriers you put up never help to solve the problem and always avoid the truth.
If you are not connected with yourself, you cannot be connected with your children.
When a child doesn’t listen, it is because your words do not align with your values. How can you expect a child to cooperate with your demands if you are not truly worthy of following?
We need to influence our children to experience who we are and to follow us.
We pretend to know what life is and that we have everything figured out. Instead of securing our children and having their attention, we order them around and are baffled when fighting ensues.
When problems arise, and your children behave poorly, are you setting the example of a great leader? Would you follow a person who is continuously controlling you and picking you apart?
Regardless of where you are in your journey, you must be willing to face these challenges head-on. As men, we must live by our values and want our children to follow us through the love and dedication we give them.
It is a choice to complain and argue every night with your kids.
Remember, you have control of your life. You have the ability to create a pure and healthy attachment with your children. Teach your children to have an appreciation for life and work to create peaceful memories.
What will your child remember about you and their childhood?
If you need help with creating more peace in your home, schedule a meeting with me.